Tag Archives: baffling the brother

I’d rather be broken than empty

I’ve done more in the last two days that in the previous 2 weeks. I never quite get the hang of the ‘pacing’ thing. Pacing is all about being sensible, conserving energy, never doing too much, avoiding ‘boom & bust’. It’s really hard to do. After weeks of being fit for nothing (remember the not being able to sit up time) I was able to do things. Hurrah!

There was a major clear out of Girl2’s bedroom. Apparently nearly 12 year olds going to secondary school don’t need a cupboard full of Build a Bears and random dolls. Or the picture books her mother just couldn’t get rid of years ago. I was able to cart bags of things to the garage for the charity shop, and fill the wheelie bin with rubbish, but Spurs Fan had to lift the rest into the roof space. By the time I was done I could hardly lift my arms to the washing line. Then, too late, I rested.

Yesterday Ditzy and I  got dressed up, had lunch out and collected a charity donation for the PSP Association. Thank you, fundraising engineers. I completed the current module for my Stanford on line course, Patient Engagement Design, and complained a bit. The course isn’t quite what I thought it would be- more about designing technology to make money out of engage patients than designing effective patient engagement- but I’ll give it another week or two before having a full on rant.

Then, (yes, there’s more!) we went out. Spurs Fan and I, alone and unaccompanied. We were early, because the early oldie with a stick gets a seat. We went to see First Aid Kit in concert, and they were fabulous.

Swedish sisters with wonderful voices and sensible shoes. One with a frock and fringe, the other with endless limbs and shiny shiny Abba type trousers. We expected harmonies and loveliness, we also got hard rocking, Jack White type badass (but sort of sweet) moments.

I’ve been listening to their albums for a while, singing along in the car, or while doing other things. Last night I heard lyrics I hadn’t noticed before, and “I’d rather be broken than empty” worked for me. I’d rather recover than never try. I’d rather be frustrated than uninterested. I’d rather need to sleep than be bored stupid. I try not to be silly about it, or push myself beyond all limits, but I’m not going to lie back and watch daytime TV if I can avoid it. Sometimes that’s what I need and I retreat from the world, but I hate missing the chance to sing along. “Sing with me” they say. And so I do.

Today and tomorrow? Bed.

I’m listening

In the almost empty house, I’m listening to music again. For months it was background noise, competing with the giggling and the Kardashians. Now I can hear the radio, and have the space to listen to it.

This week I’ve made 3 new discoveries. They may not be new to you, so forgive me if I’m very passé or a middle aged cliché. I’m enjoying the finds.

 

 

 

A bit of space, good books, good music, plenty of coffee. Slowly, balance is being restored.

 

 

 

 

preparing to leave

I love being on holiday. Time with no expectations, space to muddle along  and let life just happen.

Preparing to go on holiday, however, is a different thing.

X days = Y outfits.

Is there a washing machine?

Don’t forget the underwear and the pyjamas and the wetsuits and the body boards and the skateboards.

Shampoo, people. And oodles of conditioner.

Of course you need to bring a coat.

Warm things.

Picnic bag.

Did anybody pack the swimsuits?

Doggy bed, doggy food, doggy medicine.

Dog.

It starts off sensibly and before we know it, there’s no room in the car. Nothing seems superfluous, but there’s only 4 of us. Spurs Fan packs the car. It’s like a 3D jigsaw, a Krypton Factor puzzle. He manages to leave enough room for the last minute make up bag/ hair straighteners/ cuddly toy, but if you want something else bulky, you have to sit on it.

There’s only one thing that keeps him sane in the process. The holiday playlist/ CD/ mixtape.

There’s nothing haphazard about these- they are themed. There’s a Scotland CD, so that we come off the boat to Simple Minds and by the time we get to East Lothian, we can see Sunshine on Leith. We were in Co Clare, so we had west coast songs.

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Clare is a beautiful county, busy in the summer months with holiday makers and tour coaches. Narrow roads, wide buses, wrapped up visitors.

Because of our holiday music we ended up doing a little tour guide performance every time we saw a bus. It never got old.

“On the left, we have stone walls. And if you look to your right, you’ll see that the grass is green.”

We are easily amused.