I spend most of my time at home, resting. I have plans that I can’t quite follow through on. I don’t have to do a lot to feel very busy & the littlest things wear me out.
So I take great joy from the odd time I can feel like a normal person, when a plan comes together, when I can just go and do.
I wasn’t looking forward to the day out. It had involved organising and gathering and missed deliveries. There was a handover in a wet car park at night, while Girl1 danced a jig inside. The weather was horrible, the drive would be long. Getting there and being sociable would be challenging enough, but then I’d have to drive home again.
Imagine Spurs Fan’s surprise when I floated into the house after the return trip. Delayed by road works and heavy traffic, I’d missed being able to lift Girl2. They were expecting grumpy-don’t-speak-to-me Speccy, but I was bouncy and buoyed. Nothing like a bit of unpredictability to keep my loved ones guessing.
It had been a fine, bright day. The journey west contrasted sharply with the last time I’d made it on my own, in the middle of the night, willing my mother not to f****** die until I got there. (Unusually biddable, Herself stayed with us another 10 days, giving us all time to get there, to be with her and enjoy each other’s company.) Yesterday I could see for miles, the trees still had some beauty, and my heart lifted as I saw the town from the top of a hill.
I spent some time with HH, dropping off the t shirts, the big bucket, leaflets, a pull up banner and the freshly stickered brand new collection tubs. Tonight, she is celebrating, and taking donations for NIRDP. Isn’t that a wonderful, generous thing to do? We only know each other through social media, we share stories of dodgy health, much missed mothers and supportive families, and she thought of sharing her event with our charity. Properly awesome.
I stayed chatting longer than I’d intended, and probably longer than was good for either of us, and I went exploring the new road. All sorts of major archaeological discoveries were unearthed by the road building, but I saw the mundane roundabouts, cut aways and bridges- and look, our house! Reader, I went home.
I drove up the hill and paused outside where we’d all lived for years. Where The Old Man and Herself were so very happy and where the Brother, Mutt and I grew up. I had a wee moment of ‘ahhh’, and then- yes, there’s even more normality-I called in to visit a neighbour. More chatting and catching up, many smiles and surprises, more loss.
The journey home wasn’t so fine. Long delays and random road works. My happy cosy adrenaline buzz kept me going.
Today is another story. It’s 3pm and I’ve just been able to get up. It may not last. It could be days before I leave the house again.
It was well worth it.