creating yourself?

Speccy McSpec, that’s me. That’s always been me. Apart from the novelties of the blogging world, I’ve never changed my name. Some women do, when they marry, but I never did. Unexpectedly, that turned out to be handy when I got divorced. It causes only a little confusion at the school that the children and I have different surnames, and it means that the origins of post are easily identified- anything addressed to Mrs Speccy Spurs Fan Name is probably from his aunt. Random landline callers who greet Spurs Fan with “Hello, Mr McSpec” are easily dispatched without getting a chance to sell their wares.

The local newspapers were very happy recently with Herself. As they get paid per word, they were delighted that we referred to Herself Handsome Husband’s Name/ Mc Spec (née) Own Family Name. There’s a big connection who are known by the Own Family Name, and she spent most of her life using McSpec- in order to reflect who she was (“Now, who would she be?”), we needed to show all those.

Last week I got to help a friend create a name. We signed official forms. A solicitor signed the same forms. Then we trotted up the street for me to sign another form, in front of another solicitor. That solicitor signed several forms. Both solicitors checked everything- neither of them had done this before either. A marriage certificate was replaced with a birth certificate. I confirmed that I’ve known my friend for over 10 years (nearer to 30!) and that my friend is who she said she was. It’s official- she is, legally, who she wants to be. Hurrah!

There were hugs and grins. There was a little wine. There was something akin to Nicole Kidman skipping down the street. She chose a name that defines her, a new name, just for her, one not shared with her siblings or her children. There is nobody like her. There never has been. A strong and proud individual, making her own way in a mixed up muddled up shook up world. A fighter, full of hope and laughter and love and drama and creativity.

Welcome to the world Ms New Name. Go show them who’s boss.


8 thoughts on “creating yourself?

  1. Kudos to your friend! Names are powerful! I always hated my first name, as long as I can remember. Apparently as young as three I was trying to get my family to change my name. When I got divorced from husband number 2 I changed the whole thing, first middle and last. It feels so much better now to introduce myself with a name I don’t cringe hearing come out of my mouth.

  2. Well done to your friend, Ms McSpec. I hope she gets everything she wants from the name change, she sounds like a great person.

    And well done to you too, Janie.

  3. Apparently when I was little I really wanted to be called Penelope (except I thought it was Penny Lope). Happily, that didn’t last. Janie, I’m fascinated at the thought of picking a whole new name. I found picking baby names challenging enough, and I didn’t know the little people yet. I’m looking forward to a blog post where you tell us how you chose! Or maybe you stuck with Penelope?

  4. I think if I changed my name at this stage, I’d go through the rest of my life not answering when called because I wouldn’t recognize myself. And thanks for the bit of Fry and Laurie.

  5. Trying to remember more than one name!! Surely the same sort of challenge as choosing and remembering computer passwords?? Very taxing, but impressive of those who manage it!

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