and we go on

We had a Month’s Mind mass last weekend. Just over a month since Herself died on us. A time to do more praying, for family and friends to gather and support each other, to catch up with people who hadn’t made it to the funeral. People who’d been on holiday or who hadn’t realised the extent of her illness showed up to be with us. I didn’t howl and bawl, so my system still recognises some of the proprieties. I cried and snuffled in the house- the first time I’d been there since. That was harder than I’d expected.

The Handsome Husband worries me. He is so lost, so anxious, so resistant to help. That was harder than I expected too.

The fun bit was the discovery of a new-to-the-family photograph. It was probably taken in the late forties. Herself was tall and smiley and poised, with good hair. We were all entertained that the style was in evidence over 60 years ago.

dancing in the street?

I took another picture from the house, one from 40 years ago. The amazing thing is that the Brother and I could be replaced now with Lightning McQueen and Girl 2 and the picture would be remarkably similar.

beautiful children. whatever happened?

She goes on.


9 thoughts on “and we go on

  1. The going on is hard to get your head round – both the going on of the person who is gone and the going on without them. That’s a lovely picture of you both, and a good connection to another generation.

  2. The pictures are great. A very comforting end to a distressing day. But it was also comforting that family and friends gathered, again, to offer support at this time.

  3. I wonder what the occasion of the dancing was -local feis? What a lovely picture of other days. The photo of you two is great. The Brother’s outfit is interesting, probably trendsetting back then.

    1. That is a challenge indeed! The deafness, the Alzheimer’s, the general air of defeat, all make it so very difficult to manage. His kids seem to be up to investing more time now, so that can only help.

  4. I think the dancing was more playing in the street than féis, but who knows? I have no idea where the man with the accordion came from, but the pic really looks like it came from another world. We have all had fun with it, and we know she’d have enjoyed it. Always one for a dance and a laugh, Herself.

    There are loads of photos for us to play with, so we’ll be smiling for years at them. We were lucky that they next door neighbour was a photographer, so there are loads of pics of us when very young. Luckily, we moved before he could capture the teenage horrors.

    The Brother has always been a bit of a trendsetter, it’s true.

  5. Accordian man makes it look more of an occasion than a regular playday. But then so many houses had accordians so yes maybe not a feis. I love this photo. It was some kind of a special day. The good clothes & shoes & ribbons & bows.
    The Brother’s outfit clearly accompanied a trendy stylish & possibly mini-skirted mother.

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