Once upon a time I tried to review a beauty product. It did not make me look 10 years younger. I had nothing to say. I retired from reviewing.
Some months later, in a fit of forgetfulness, I signed up to review a product. I may have have nothing to say. This time, other people will know.
Why, oh why, was I so foolish? Ok, I was addled with grief and not thinking straight, bewitched by the notion of a trim tum in a month. “All I have to do is rub in creams and do a wee bit of exercise. Surely even I can do 4 minutes a day?” I only told Spurs Fan and he wasn’t crazy enough to laugh at me.
Now, the time has come. I’m going to have to write things. Twice a week. For a month. They want to see photographs of my stomach. I said that was ok. Surely they should have known then that I wasn’t in my right mind?
We will not speak of this any more, but should you ever feel the need to laugh hysterically at my misfortune, just visit latest in beauty, where glamorous women burble contentedly, and I whimper.