out of my mind

Once upon a time I tried to review a beauty product. It did not make me look 10 years younger. I had nothing to say. I retired from reviewing.

Some months later, in a fit of forgetfulness, I signed up to review a product. I may have have nothing to say. This time, other people will know.

Why, oh why, was I so foolish? Ok, I was addled with grief and not thinking straight, bewitched by the notion of a trim tum in a month. “All I have to do is rub in creams and do a wee bit of exercise. Surely even I can do 4 minutes a day?” I only told Spurs Fan and he wasn’t crazy enough to laugh at me.

Now, the time has come. I’m going to have to write things. Twice a week. For a month. They want to see photographs of my stomach. I said that was ok. Surely they should have known then that I wasn’t in my right mind?

We will not speak of this any more, but should you ever feel the need to laugh hysterically at my misfortune, just visit latest in beauty, where glamorous women burble contentedly, and I whimper.


12 thoughts on “out of my mind

  1. Hmmn. They named one of their products, “Get Waisted?” Clever, but mightn’t that confuse people into thinking they should be drinking the product with a pint of Guinness?

    Heck, if a pint of Guinness day could make my tummy and breast look like that I’d be in.

  2. We will speak of this again. I need to know if this works. Will the stomach photos appear on your blog? Have they the right to use the photos as they please? This is going to be fun! And in other news, my latest beauty bible testing stuff is on it’s way. Lots of anti ageing things. Very soon between us we will have the face & figure of an 18 yr old!

  3. Nick, I’ll probably be able to make a fortune as a model after this.

    Janie, I’d be with you there!

    kileen, I can hear you laughing you know.

    Patti, ‘Oh my.’ The mistress of understatement! I think I might adopt that phrase for when I’m knocked senseless at some one else’s behaviour 🙂

  4. The question is did it work? If it did show your tummy proudly to the world. If it didn’t write that it actually made you put on weight, and you’ll never be asked to review anything again.

    Or you might become the Simon Cowell of the Beauty Product world, hired (and paid enormously) to write scathing comments about stuff (if that happens I am officially your agent).

  5. Tinman, a) I’ve only just started, so ‘not yet’ is the answer for now b) you are an evil genius. As my agent, you will get paid in beer when we next meet.

  6. I haven’t visited the site yet. But – what a treat to come!!! I remember your last attempt – you wimped out very quickly! So – you’re now developing staying power? You’re mixing with too many trekkies!!

  7. Hey, I found you from the Latest in Beauty site! I have ME too so I’m really interested to see how you get on with this and with the exercises (are they proper exercises?!). Best of luck!

    1. Hi Kitty- you’ll see from the LiB site that I’m struggling a bit with the exercises, tho I’m blaming a general and surprising lack of motivation for that rather than ME in particular!

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