dating, deportment and disappointment

The make up artist was baffled. How had it come to this? She lived in a massive house in an area where pedestrians are unusual. She drove a fancy car. She had a business, and even a website. She could coach deportment. She could give advice on dating and corporate image. She knew about colour. She was coordinated.

Why were two bedraggled women in black standing on her door step? They were wet, and almost giddy. They had not brought daughters with them. All her creativity, her years of training, the film work, and this is all she’s got to show for it- showing women (closer in age to 50 than 20- the horror) how to put on two colours of eyeliner.

Her hopes and aspirations lay in shards. The women tried to lift the mood and made small talk. They entertained themselves and so the make up artist didn’t have to make too much of an effort. Sometimes they asked ridiculous questions, but she rose above her despair and answered politely. Her only relief was to play a little trick with blusher. The light was poor, they’d never notice.

not the actual victim, but close

The long hour ended. They all knew they wouldn’t repeat the experience. The make up artist walked them the long way to the door before retiring to Pinot and parents.

The women laughed all the way home.

What did they learn at the tutorial?

– the rich are different from the rest of us.

– the main reason to apply foundation with a brush is so the brush can then be used as an eraser to fix mistakes.

-matching your earrings and your belt just looks odd.

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13 thoughts on “dating, deportment and disappointment

  1. The blusher was truly horrendous. How could we not notice! We also observed that matching your bright green skirt & your eyeshadow also looks odd. I now know that highlighter comes after foundation but when did the powder go on? Confused.

    1. I’d forgotten about the bright green 🙂

      foundation with brush
      powder with pad
      blusher (hahahaha)
      more powder with brush

      I was very confused by the eyes- primer, 4 shadows and 2 eyeliners

      I don’t have the brain power to do beauty properly

      1. And then there was the lip pencil and the mahogany lipstick! Plus the suggestion that on the rare occasion that I go out (bingo? teadance?), only then could I be permitted to use black eyeliner.

    1. Sadly, there are none. A schoolgirl error on my part. Kileen is undoubtedly much relieved.

      Get pink and blue daughters to draw scary people, and you’ll be about right 😉

    1. It was a groupon voucher for a make up tutorial, which could be observed- there would have been room for you! It was very entertaining in an ‘all wrong’ way 🙂

  2. “Proper” application of make up has always been way too mysterious for me – not to mention too much work. I’ve never had a real professional show me how to do it, but at this point, I figure I’m committed to my look. Mascara, occasional eye shadow and occasional lipstick – that’s my limit. Otherwise I feel like I’m wearing a mask..

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