It seems I need to make an effort if I’m to lose weight. Simply showing up at a sociable Weight Watchers meeting every week won’t shift the pounds. I alternate; good week, bad week. After a good start, I’ve been losing and gaining the same few pounds for weeks. I’m getting bored with it now.
When I get bored, I stop bothering. Why make the effort if it feels like there’s no reward? I could just sit here with coffee and a slice of cake. Followed by wine and cheese. And chocolate. I’d feel good and cosy. It’ll be ages before I need new clothes, so I won’t notice the expansion.
No. That’s too easy done. I’ll never be skinny, but I’d like for there to be a bit less of me. I’d be healthier. Clothes would look better.
Instead, I have to go back and read the guff. I have to remember the smaller portions. I have to avoid most of the wine, cake, cheese and chocolate. I have to walk more. I have to deal with the comfort eating.
I joined Weight Watchers in September for the ongoing motivation and structure, and I would have lost nothing at all without it. I count points, eat vegetables and avoid spuds and buns. When I’ve had a good week, I feel great- in control, winning. I’m overcoming my outer heffalump. When I’ve regained a wee bit I’m defeated. Fat and foolish. A bit of cheese would do no harm, surely?
I need to think about this as a project, something that I have to be active about. I know that wishing won’t make it so. It won’t just happen. I have been thinner than this; I will be again. I am already thinner than I was at the start. I am brilliant really. Now that I’m telling you about it, I’ll have to keep going. You don’t need to clap or cheer me on, it’s enough for me to have told the whole wide world.
What on earth have I done? Whose great idea was that?
I’m not doing well at this ‘taking responsibilty’ am I?
cartoon from the wonderful Cathy Thorne