You all read this 10 years ago didn’t you? Well, I’ve been busy with, um, er, children and sickness and life and, um, the internet, you were reading about Junior Master Criminal himself. Artemis Fowl is twelve, and a criminal genius; the latest in a long line of supercriminals. The interpol file marked ‘Fowl’ is equivalent in size to half a library. Hefty stuff.
You found about about fairies and dwarves and trolls. You know the power of magic. You know about LEPrecon (Lower Elements Police Reconnaissance squad). How could you keep LEPrecon from me?
While I thought I was keeping up with the zeitgeist by reading a few Harry Potter books, you were laughing and keeping Artemis Fowl to yourselves. Ha! No more! Down with that sort of thing. I’m on to you now! I’m getting more of the series. You can’t stop me!