in the twinkle of an eye

It was a Saturday. I only left the house that night, after, so I’ve no idea what sort of a day it was, but it was long. The house was full; an uncle had brought stew earlier, others were there with biscuits and hugs. We hadn’t been without a nurse for a while. We were on autopilot. When Herself and I went to get coffee, he thought he’d sneak off. The nurse was wise to moves like that, and got us back to be with him. His wife and children, his brother- we were there when he left us. His mum and sister missed his leaving by minutes.

The Eurovision Song Contest was on. We decided that was what killed him. Easier to say with a smile than the cancer his body had been fighting for years. He was 52.

Seriously world, 19 years? When do I get to the ‘not missing him’ part?


11 thoughts on “in the twinkle of an eye

  1. The measure of the great man and Father he was to you Fiona .Always in your heart. I see a twinkle in his eye, and you have this too !Thinking of you today. x

  2. Sometimes I think the immediate aftermath is the easy bit. It’s the years and anniversaries and life changes that come afterwards without them that’s tricky.

  3. I like blaming the Eurovision; it gives a protective facade with room for the grief behind. He will have deserved never-ending missing, which doesn’t make it any easier for you, but things are so.

  4. Fiona, my husband lost his dad when he was ten…that was a long, long time ago. He can tear up at the drop of a hat when he talks about his dad. I just love the photo. The spirit of a wonderful man comes through, and I wish there really were a way to remember a loved one with such earnestness and not have it be painful. Seems like a design flaw to me…broken hearts really should heal better! Debra

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