the oddest thing

Something very odd happened at the weekend.

I looked in the mirror and thought ‘I could wear that tunic as it is’, ie: with no cardigan or leggings.

Then I realised what I’d done. I had looked at my legs and considered exposing them to the world. Only on a beach, obviously, but still.

That’s me, Speccy McSpec, and my own legs.

The white ones that wobble.

I didn’t see enormous, scary items. I saw regular legs. The like of which we all see on the street any day.

My legs looked like normal legs.

Did a gremlin come along and flip a switch in my head?

Did my shock at Girl2’s leg predicament mean that I actually started looking at my own body realistically, instead of just pretending to. Does ‘fake it til you make it’ work? Have I begun to accept the healthy messages?

I’m smaller than I used to be, but I’ll never be skinny. I’m regular, with padding. Normally I only see the padding.

This weekend I saw the regular, and the world shifted a little bit on its axis.