how not to fail at frocks

When one is a novice approaching a fancy black tie dinner, there are any number of things to consider. Future posts will consider issues around ‘spray tan vs milk bottle white’, and ‘nails- is naked a no no?’ Today, we’re discussing what may happen when one needs a long, ballgown, sophisticated sort of dress…

Spend hours on the website of a department store, looking at evening/ occasion wear.

Decide on purple dress, black faux fur stole, non descript medium heel evening shoes. Place £200 worth of sparkly items in your vitual shoppong basket.

Consider own jewellery and opt for big black bangle, sparkly black butterfly and any twinkly rings one may have inherited.

Revisit website. Realise that the purple dress is described both as a ‘ball gown’ and a ‘bridesmaid dress’. Bridesmaid. Oh. Consider that one is too old to be flouncing about in a shiny bridesmaid dress. The Horror.


Realise that, left to one’s own devices the result may be very matronly, or mutton dressed as lamb. The worry will always be there. Review shopping basket. Panic.

Time to call in an expert.

There is a wonder woman, fantastic frock lady. Rumour has it that anxious women of all shapes, sizes and ages are turned into goddesses by her experienced eye and wonderful array of garments. It is possible to hire a complete ensemble for £50. A bargain at twice the price, for the confidence alone.

I’m seeing her on Friday.


19 thoughts on “how not to fail at frocks

    1. Mise, I doubt if she has anything as fabulous as those dresses. I’ll take the first one, and may even try the hat.
      Now you have put that vision in my head I fear I may be disappointed by anything else! 🙂

    1. I’m sure it will be- I know it’s the guidance and confidence I need. Plenty of folk can just go and buy something, anything, but this is so far outside my comfort zone the anxiety would win! 🙂

    1. Debra, I haven’t been to a formal event in 25 years! I’m totally clueless, so you get to hear all about it 🙂 Of course there will be pictures- of the table, the Titanic style grand stair case etc. Must remember some of the dress too 😉

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