We all do it. Individuals, families- we all have to juggle a bit. Even those of us who’ll never make it as entertainers.


Girls manage school work, netball, gaelic football, soccer, ballet, Irish dancing, choir- and there’s always something else tempting one or other of them. Of course, a certain amount of taxiing is required to get them to various activities.

Spurs Fan manages school work (so much more than class work), most of the taxiing, grocery shopping, and cooking. He’s given up some of his coaching activities, leaving more time for… school work.

I lie about, take Jake for walks and try to manage my energy levels. Sometimes that’s easier said than done. There are days I’m all abuzz, joining dots and feeling rather together. There haven’t been too many of those days recently. I’m tired and apathetic. I feel a bit defeated. I’m not sure why.

It could be long, cold, wet January. It could be just time for a low mood to settle for a bit. It could be that some things I was quite hopeful about are proving difficult, and my skin is thin enough to feel that as a personal failing. (Self obsessed, me?)

I wish it would go away. I want to be positive and upbeat and creative: instead I’m just a bit ‘meh’. That’s no fun. Worse, that’s the sort of feeling that challenges my weightwatching…

I’d rather be juggling ideas than low moods.

IΒ think I need big skies and a beach.

Rossnowlagh after the rain


Until it passes,Β I’m enjoying this as my current earworm- just to make me feel good


29 thoughts on “juggling

  1. Goodness, just reading all the things the girls are involved in makes me feel weary! Kids seem to have so many activities these days. All I did when I was a kid was go to school, read books and listen to the radio. That was about it.

    1. I was like that too Nick. I was never a ‘joiner’- quite content to read books and listen to music. They get great confidence and friendship from all the activities- they’re not scared to try things that I would run a mile from.

  2. Giving yourself big skies and a beach may give your brain some space to recover some energy…. I certainly hope so.

    It does get old, doesn’t it, monitoring energy levels, just to flippin’ crash anyway? (She said. With knowledge of same.)

    When I read your truthful descriptions of “meh” days, it gives me courage to post on my own blog the truth of my days. So, thank you.

    1. I realised with this that I’ve probably been lower than I’d for a while, but hadn’t noticed. I need to find a spark of the ridiculous somewhere to get me laughing and my mind being silly again.
      i did wonder wherther to blog about the ‘meh’, but what’s the point of a personal blog if I can’t? Glad it’s useful πŸ™‚

      1. With my brain-situation, physical energy disappears AFTER I’ve already exhausted my brain/control center reserves. In other words, I just keep going and going and then one moment realize how terrible I truly feel.

        I miss the cues that my whole being is worn down…. (I’m going to have to write about this because it’s a big deal.)

        It also turns out that my own version of meh is not depression, just a special brand of exhaustion. Time and quiet are the only two ingredients for recovery. …

        Made me think of your own brain fogs…. and wonder if the same could be happening.

        1. There is definitely some of that going on! The ME/CFS saps energy and judgement so I waltz along feeling I can do all sorts, until I can’t move. Then I struggle to remember working on a balance, but am still recovering from the post buzz crash, so just feel rubbish…

          1. I forgot about the judgement being sapped–almost funny that I missed that! I’m learning to impose limits, which seem so arbitrary because “I’m not tired, why should I stop?” Ah. Got it. Won’t have to get tired, maybe, if I impose limits.

            Then I get royally peeved that I have to impose limits. How rude. I’ve always gone and gone and gone….

            Your last sentence is perfect…. sigh….

  3. Sometimes I wonder if we keep the kids so busy in the wintertime so that the “meh” doesn’t get to them, too, you know? While the grownups do the responsible stuff like taxiing and watching from the bleachers and keeping them focused so they can’t see the grey…. Blargh. January will be over, soon!

  4. My goodness what sporty girls they are.
    I shall be in NI for a few days next month, not sure that I’ll get to the beach, but if I see a woman (other than Cousin) with a West Highland White on a lead, I’ll give her a wave. It may be you!

    1. I am the most unsporty, uncoordinated person you could ever meet (think Frazier’s brother Niles Crane) so their interest in trying all sporty things is alien. Spurs Fan is delighted with it πŸ™‚

  5. All that coming and going in your house makes it sound like grand central station at rush hour. I wonder if having a large photo of that big sky and beach on your chimney breast in the living room, would help? Elly had a favourite photo printed on canvas for me some time ago.

    1. GM, you have me thinking… I have a lovely Paul Henry print on the dining room (my writing space!) chimney breast- it could be time to move it, and replace it with a beach pic- somehow, I’ve gathered a few.
      Watch this space πŸ™‚

  6. I love big skies, Fiona. The bluer and the clearer the better! A nice clear night-time sky is good too! And a multi-coloured morning sunrise… and sunset. You’ve set me off now…! It’ll soon be Spring… just try to let the ‘meh’ feelings pass over you!

    1. Isn’t it fab? We spent so much time in Donegal last year that the computer may explode from all the beach photos. I couldn’t possibly walk on a beach without documenting it πŸ™‚

  7. Lots of longing here for big skies and beaches at the moment too. They do make things easier, not sure why that is, maybe just a sense of perspective. I hope the feeling is just a January feeling and that the new month brings a sense of being more settled xx

  8. I’d be exhausted and low, too, Fiona. The ocean would definitely revive and rejuvenate! Let’s hope that winter is brief, and spring comes soon! Meanwhile, I recommend finding some mindless comedies to watch–laugh and boost those endorphins! oxo

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