I had a plan. We know how that turns out.
This year I was going to be bouncy and creative. I wasn’t going to subject you to loss and woe.
It was all going to be about me and motherhood. Me, a lucky mum, with healthy, happy, opinionated, funny girls. Me, muddling through mummyworld. Me, creating chaos and cuddles. Me, awake at times, despite ME. Me, the best mum in the world ever. (Ok, you can stop laughing now.)
But Mothers’ Day is really somewhere in between. It’s a bittersweet notion.
We’ve all had a mother, but not all of us still do. Some of you lost your mother many years ago, some since this time last year. Others have recognised the increasing frailty of a parent; a loss of vigour or independance.These Hallmark celebration days become markers. This year, I wasn’t shocked by not needing to buy a card. Progress takes many forms.
Blogging, tweeting- these ways of interacting with the world are important to many of us. That’s how I got to read about the loss of Matilda Mae– a nine month old who died at the start of February. Her mum Jennie has been blogging about their lives; Tilda, David, Esther and William, and about their sudden, stunning loss. I have been reduced to tears by the openness of her writing more than once.
Sudden infant deaths happen. Many children are only in the world for a short time, whether they die suddenly, in an accident, or as the result of illness. Parents have to work out how to keep going. I pray I never have to find out how they manage to do that.
A post about the variety of emotions we have in life- joy and sorrow, laughing, anxiety and moving on? Progress takes many forms. It’s not all about me after all.