mothers’ day

I had a plan. We know how that turns out.

This year I was going to be bouncy and creative. I wasn’t going to subject you to loss and woe.

It was all going to be about me and motherhood. Me, a lucky mum, with healthy, happy, opinionated, funny girls. Me, muddling through mummyworld. Me, creating chaos and cuddles. Me, awake at times, despite ME. Me, the best mum in the world ever. (Ok, you can stop laughing now.)

rock pools

But Mothers’ Day is really somewhere in between. It’s a bittersweet notion.

We’ve all had a mother, but not all of us still do. Some of you lost your mother many years ago, some since this time last year. Others have recognised the increasing frailty of a parent; a loss of vigour or independance.These Hallmark celebration days become markers. This year, I wasn’t shocked by not needing to buy a card. Progress takes many forms.

Blogging, tweeting- these ways of interacting with the world are important to many of us. That’s how I got to read about the loss of Matilda Mae– a nine month old who died at the start of February. Her mum Jennie has been blogging about their lives; Tilda, David, Esther and William, and about their sudden, stunning loss. I have been reduced to tears by the openness of her writing more than once.

Sudden infant deaths happen. Many children are only in the world for a short time, whether they die suddenly, in an accident, or as the result of illness. Parents have to work out how to keep going. I pray I never have to find out how they manage to do that.

A post about the variety of emotions we have in life- joy and sorrow, laughing, anxiety and moving on? Progress takes many forms. It’s not all about me after all.


16 thoughts on “mothers’ day

  1. Oh Speccy – I just went over to read about Matilda Mae – I can hardly say ‘thanks’ for that link, but nevertheless glad to have read it. Enjoy your Mother’s Day, with all its memories.

  2. Great post Speccy. Staff at the home have promised to open Mother’s card and read it to her today, to remind her she is loved and my mum. Fortunately that relationship still holds meaning for her. I hadn’t thought about how it will be when she is no longer alive. A bitter sweet day of memories I suspect.

  3. “But Mothers’ Day is really somewhere in between. It’s a bittersweet notion.” So very true. And your statement, “I wasn’t shocked by not needing to buy a card,” really speaks to me. Five years have now passed since I lost my mother. The razor sharp intensity has lessened, but the loss is for a lifetime. The memories are precious treasures for the heart aren’t they? Thanks for the post.

    1. Welcome Nancy. I miss her every day, but keep on chatting to her and imagining her reactions; even so, the conversations don’t always go my way… 🙂

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