for car, see printer

An elderly printer, that is. One that likes to do things in its own time. One that does not like a speck of dust, or different paper, or new ink.

A printer that, most especially, does not like to have high expectations- multiple copies of several documents, for instance- placed upon it.

For the tall, frustrated man, see me.

Anxious, cross, and good at inspiring huffs in machinery.

Imagine the scene: girls flitting about being Incredibly Helpful, little bundles of paper spread across the floor, paperclips and staples on standby, a list of what your AGM about town needs. In the background, see if you can spot the clipboard, sticky labels and markers. Consider that it is past pyjama time, so one of us is lurking at the end of the daily energy allotment.

Paper is added. Both cartridges of ink are changed.

The printer churns out the ‘just checking I’m working’ page.

Six times.

It does nothing else.

Spurs Fan starts with “You just do…”- always guaranteed to provoke a “I’ve done that…”

Then it all descends into Fawlty madness.


It’s a wonder the AGM happened at all.


*post inspired by a commenty chat with The Clothesline


14 thoughts on “for car, see printer

  1. Our printer doesn’t work at all, even though the light is on and everything seems to be connected.
    Somehow that seems better, you just give up and live without it. An everyone in the house emails their stuff to your workplace so that you can print it out for them. And risk getting fired.

  2. Printing is like that: it is a law of nature. Also the lunchboxes will not close and the school fete biscuits burn and the important zip breaks. We should not expect otherwise.

  3. I so relate! My wireless printer worked so well until I got a new computer a year ago. Since then…NOT! And of course everyone has an opinion as to why, always certain I hadn’t tried “that” before. It’s a conspiracy!

  4. My printer is fine, but my elderly computer can be very sluggish. If I try to run too many things at once, or too quickly, it gets into a huff and freezes solid.

  5. Definitely can relate to doing a Basil, or being a Victoria Meldrew, when these things refuse to obey. I have a more basic problem at the moment, a non-flushing toilet. I figured out the cistern does not fill up quite enough but am tired of adding water from a dish so I decided to try to fix it. I was confident that I knew what was wrong but efforts to sort it out have not worked. Now I shall have to ask a builder (or someone) to look at it and I shall have to tell him that I might have stapled something in there.

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