I’m amazed at how characters on television soap operas rarely watch TV. Debates about great dramas/ reality nonsense/ twitter storms about minutiae- none of this has any impact on the EastEnders or those who live around Coronation Street. Nobody comments on what they watched, nor appears to have any interest in anything other than pub gossip or cunning plans.
I don’t expect us to see them watching much TV, though The Royle Family and Gogglebox show that can be a lot of fun. I know also that the programmes are recorded well in advance and can’t be expected to keep up with passing trends, but these fictional characters learn nothing from their counterparts.
If soap opera baddies spent more time watching TV and less time glaring at people over orange juice in the pub, they might have a better idea of what to do when faced with blood soaked evidence of a crime.
Last week, a baldy, snarly villain happened across a smashed smartphone in his kitchen. It belonged to an opposing baddie. Lifting it up, he got his hands covered in blood. Presumably, the phone got covered in incriminating finger prints. What did he do with it?
He put it under the tea towels on a shelf. Really.
That’s a man who’s never watched CSI.
Just last week I found the long missing string underneath tea towels. Some people have ironed tea towels neatly stacked in a spacious area. I have a muddle in a drawer with random other things, including, it seems, string. Even so, I would never try to hide things there.
So what could the soap baddie have done instead?
- smashed the phone further and thrown in the canal
- dropped the phone under a lorry on the street
- cut up the SIM card
- put all the bits of the phone into doggy poo bags and dropped in various bins
You’ve thought of another 5 possibilities as you’ve been reading. One would almost think that it’s important that the phone be found…
Equally fascinating was the fact that nobody has yet noticed that a whole car is missing, squashed with the now phoneless baddie in it. Who owned the car? Why do they not want it back?
me, mine, and other bits 
You mention throwing it “in” the canal, but surely there are so many dead bodies heaped in there already that it wouldn’t get a chance to sink?
and you let on you never watch…
Maybe it’s irony. Maybe it’s the Truman Show. 😉
Now that would be fun!
Hilarious! You ‘re onto something there. Proof that all that chocolate over Christmas has not numbed one iota the sharpness of a forensic criminologist’s brain! (Is there such a thing?!) 😉
All the chocolate, all of the wine, all of the tv watching- sharp as a sausage, me!
That made me laugh! And you’re so right too Miss Marple- with his chequered history, Phil should definitely have known better. (I LOVE the fact that I’m not alone in my weakness for EastEnders!)
It will be found. There will be trouble. I predict a riot.
I had avoided EE for years, but lured back in when Girl1 decided she needed to watch- school bus conversations- and I’d need to tell her who was related to whom. We spent the first few weeks wondering of each other “who is that? where did they come from?” but we’re up to speed now. Apart from the gaps I must ask you about…
Of course when you submit your scripts they will be different… 🙂
Ha! Wouldn’t it be fun, though?
Well someone writes them. Why not you? I have now read your post about TED talks so am sending that thought back to you.
So doggy poo bags are worth a watchin- is there anything you want to tell us?
No. That would be telling.
You clearly have the mind of a master criminal… ( well – you are at least sharper than that ol crim Phil!)
or perhaps I watch & read too many crime dramas?
He will have an affair with it. Then Angie will return to take him ” up west”
You are a genius 😀
I may well include this in ‘my’ script!
Dare you