It’s been an odd week. Lots of resting & very little thinking. I’ve been reading fun things or browsing social media. But when I went to read some non fiction, I didn’t get through the first chapter. The latest in the Scottish crime series I’m enjoying doesn’t seem as gripping. I’m not interested in anything.

I don’t watch the news; that’s what Twitter is for. But I keep seeing awful, embarrassing things. I’m numb, yet horrified. I have no idea where the anger has gone. Am I right back at simple denial?

By Oliver Jeffers

I think, in my own ridiculous way, I’m grieving. For hope, community, shared values & mutual learning. For the opportunities my children won’t have, and for the US chickens we’re going to be stuck with.

Brexit is happening & I’m still not happy about it.

6 thoughts on “Discombobulated

  1. Such an echo to my own thoughts and feelings. I am rescued by the community singing group. I have no energy for the anger/activism etc. I am re-reading Sara Paretsky – just shows the state of me – vicarious success better than the failure. Grieving maybe, also feeling I have failed even though I know I probably have not. Now I also know I am not alone.

  2. Hello Speccy, anger is not going away here. I’m in Oxford at the moment,wanted to spend the last 24 hours with campaigning friends who care about social justice. A vigil / meeting was overflowing yesterday with speakers from Oxford Uni senior team, the Lord Mayor who is very active with existing European twinning projects. Lots of positive action including supporting EU citizens here, British citizens in EU countries and the same things we always fight for. Maybe Oxford will finally change and stop churning out racist elitists. There’s a lot here who are pro EU and European, responsible citizens and using their Oxford education for good. Not enough but a start. The tide has turned, we will rejoin EU if we can finally coordinate across political divides and maybe sooner than expected. Didn’t mean to make a speech but sending a hug your way X

  3. I feel your pain and share it. It’s just awful. I’m an expat and I moved to Germany 15 years ago after marrying the love of my life, who happens to be German.
    I’ve been through shock, disbelief, rage, shock again, despair and now it’s just done. I feel kind of empty about it.
    In the beginning we had no idea if I’d be allowed to stay here or not so I went for German citizenship. Once I was through, they told me that it wasn’t clear that I could keep both. Which feels horrible. Do you give up your old, actual nationality? But if you don’t, what path will life take? Finally, with Brexit through, it’s been agreed that we can keep both. I am so relieved. But the Brits who are applying now – have to choose. They can’t have both.
    I don’t understand this new, backward slide towards nationalism. Aren’t our differences to be shared and celebrated? And our commonalities something to build on?
    Something is fundamentally wrong.

  4. Hello Speccy! I just wanted to check in and say that I hope you and everyone you love is staying healthy. These are surreal days, between politics and pandemics, and I worry about all.

    1. Thank you, Janie. We are all well, so far, and doing our best to stay that way. My brain has been mush. I can’t concentrate and the speed of change is incredible. The good news is that I don’t have available brain power to worry. I hope you and yours are managing to keep well x

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