I do. I really do. But, sometimes, only sometimes, I could see them far enough…
Most of the time I’m home alone. I sleep, potter about in pjs and play on the computer. Jake, the grumbly westie, sleeps at my feet. We need the space, the interruption free world of the school term.
We’ve had 6 weeks of school holiday so far. We’ve been warm in England and frozen in Donegal. Spurs Fan has done some painting and we’ve decluttered. For now.We’ve been in the sea, played games, watched films, had lots of fun.
This morning, just for a few hours, the house is empty. Just me, Jake and Lauren Laverne. It’s glorious.
I’ve been conscious of missing a lot these holidays. Extra energy spent with my nearest and dearest has meant that I haven’t had the oomph to do other things. I missed a day with bloggy buddy Isobel, a meet up with old friends, a BBQ, a birthday party, all the space of about 3 weeks. I managed to have fun with friends in a restaurant and at book club, so I haven’t been confined to the house, just conscious of opportunities I couldn’t take. Sometimes I quite chilled about it; other times I rage against the fatigue, overwhelmed by the on going losses. Then I have a sleep, wise up, and get on with doing and enjoying the things I can.
And, really, you know as well as I do that I wouldn’t miss those random family moments that mean nothing to anyone else- pink hair, temporary vegetarianism, let’s just drive on to the end of this road…anybody know where we are? These are the moments that will live on and will have us laughing together in years to come.
I love them dearly. Most of the time.